I've been talking a lot about gratitude this month, not just on facebook, but also at YCW, and also during Sunday School with the kids. I want to have a grateful heart, and I do feel that for many, many aspects of my life, I see the blessings, and I am thankful. But there is one area where I am specifically lacking, and I don't know how to get away from the negative whirlpool that crashes my thoughts each time this topic of gratitude comes up.
Here are some thoughts that enter my mind, when I'm trying to focus on the blessings:
I am grateful, but I wish things were different....
I am thankful for my blessings, but I don't understand why this has to be so hard....
I am grateful for "this", but I wish it could be like "that".
Do you ever have "grateful thoughts" like this? It doesn't really seem like gratitude when I'm questioning my path, and wishing things were different!!
While my grateful attitude wavers in some areas, my faith will hold steady. I have felt God's mercy and forgiveness when I did not deserve it. I have felt his love in times of loneliness. And I can see how he chooses to bless me abundantly. It's those blessings I need to focus on right now. Yes, my life is not perfect; I have troubled relationships and past sins. But God continues to love me, continues to bless me, and for that I am undeniably thankful.
I love this song, Blessings by Laura Story..."What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?" It reminds me that even the challenges can be blessings.
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