Noise

Last night, Avery, Nate and I were watching "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer". Nate had fallen asleep in the bed, after a LONG day of playing and "helping" me decorate the house. It was just Aves and I, and the movie was almost over. During the final scene of the movie, when Santa is flying over the rooftops, Rudolph's nose begins to shine and make that squeaky noise that it does in the movie. I guess because Avery wasn't expecting it, when she heard the squeaking, beeping noise, she didn't realize it was from the show, and she thought it was an alarm of some kind in the house. She LOST it....hands to her ears, eyes wide, screaming and crying all at once. I was terrified, because I had no.idea.what.was.happening. My heart was beating out of my chest. I calmed her down pretty quickly, but had to force her hands down she could hear me tell her that it was not an alarm and just the show. It was upsetting to see her with so much fear. I wish I could take that all away from her.

“I am in great distress. Let me fall into the hand of the LORD, for his mercy is very great, but do not let me fall into the hand of man.” 1 Chronicles 21:13.

Grateful Attitude...?

So much for my 15 minutes each day on the blog! Ooops! I wish I were better at keeping things updated here....

I've been talking a lot about gratitude this month, not just on facebook, but also at YCW, and also during Sunday School with the kids. I want to have a grateful heart, and I do feel that for many, many aspects of my life, I see the blessings, and I am thankful. But there is one area where I am specifically lacking, and I don't know how to get away from the negative whirlpool that crashes my thoughts each time this topic of gratitude comes up.

Here are some thoughts that enter my mind, when I'm trying to focus on the blessings:

I am grateful, but I wish things were different....

I am thankful for my blessings, but I don't understand why this has to be so hard....

I am grateful for "this", but I wish it could be like "that".

Do you ever have "grateful thoughts" like this? It doesn't really seem like gratitude when I'm questioning my path, and wishing things were different!!

While my grateful attitude wavers in some areas, my faith will hold steady. I have felt God's mercy and forgiveness when I did not deserve it. I have felt his love in times of loneliness. And I can see how he chooses to bless me abundantly. It's those blessings I need to focus on right now. Yes, my life is not perfect; I have troubled relationships and past sins. But God continues to love me, continues to bless me, and for that I am undeniably thankful.

I love this song, Blessings by Laura Story..."What if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?" It reminds me that even the challenges can be blessings.

Checking in...

Is it okay to just check in? I don't have much to say, and I need to get to bed. How do people who post daily come up with new material? My life is going to have to get more exciting!

I did some online research for a women's bible study, and by research I mean I "googled it". I found quite a few helpful links and potential places to spend time and learn, but one in particular really seemed to click with me, and so I'm considering getting started! The only thing holding me back is that the study started today, and I need to purchase the book pretty quickly so that I don't fall too far behind. I love the concept of this bible study group, and I think it may be just the thing for me to get more involved in God's word.

Nate, on the other hand, is very into the Bible lately. He loves his little blue bible that he got as a baby. He carries it around the house and he'll point out the red text and he knows that those are the words Jesus has said. He wanted me to read it with him tonight, so I started to do so, and then he stopped me and told me I had to sing it. So, we sang some verses from Matthew! I love that he wants to read his Bible.

In other news, today is my Momma's birthday! I was so blessed to be raised by her and to be a part of her family. I hope she had a terrific day...Love you Mom!!

Words in my Heart

Something I struggle with in my daily walk as a Christian is making time to read the Bible. In all honesty, my Bible gets the most action on Sunday, and then it rests for the remainder of the week. I'm sure that's not how God intended it.

I feel close to God; I pray to him all throughout the day. It's almost like my inner-thoughts about what's going on in my life turn into little prayers - little notes I'm sending to God. So I'm communicating with him all the time, but I'm not taking much time to listen or learn what he has to say to me, and that's what I need the most. I need to hear HIS voice when I'm excited, worried, frustrated...I want to hear His voice all the time.

I'm not sure the best way to go about reading the Bible. I've started at the beginning, hoping to read through, and I lose steam after Genesis. And yes, that's just the first book! I want to read the books of the bible and find the meaning in them, to better understand them, but I get discouraged easily. I think a devotional or possibly an online Bible study could be a great tool for me to get more excited about the Bible.

I will do some checking and see if I can find a good fit for me...I want to know my Heavenly Father, and I know I can do so much more to understand His word and His will for my life. I'll keep you updated.

"I have hidden your word in my heart so that I won't sin against you." Psalm 119:11

Bedtime Babies

For the last 3 mornings, my little ones have woken up together in Nate's bed...at about 5:30 a.m. This is good news in that they are sleeping together and staying together!! They have not been in my bed (nor I in theirs) for 3 whole days! But...they are both waking up very early, and also at various times throughout the night and they come to me and ask me to help tuck them back into bed. So I do, and I always will, because I want them to know that I will always comfort them when they need it. I assume that eventually, they will not need all of this middle-of-the-night comfort. Until then, I am still waking up very tired. :) However, progress is being made when it comes to the bedtime shuffle, and that makes me very, very happy.

I read this blog yesterday, and loved her post about rocking our babies to sleep. I have always done whatever it takes to make bedtime peaceful. We've rocked, we've bounced. I have vivid memories of holding Avery (and Nate, too), bouncing and swaying them in my arms while I sang to them, often Christmas carols, because it was all that I could think of. Sometimes in a moment of frustration, or in joking, I will say that I've spoiled my babies and I can't stand that they don't just sleep on their own and stay in their beds. I'll lament to myself, "Why, oh WHY did I ever co-sleep with these kiddos? What was I thinking?" And then I remember how much I loved nursing my little ones in the middle of the night. The quiet, precious time together. I loved when our babies were "new" and we'd all be in bed, and everything just felt right with us together. I do miss my sleep, and right now, I can't claim to have the best sleepers on the block, but I will never regret all the nights we've spent cuddled and asleep, dreaming together. Even when I wake up from my dreams with a foot in my face. Even that, I'll be thankful for.

Evolution of a Kitchen

Oh....the before pictures.....just awful!!

Prologue

When we first moved into our home, the kitchen was the very first room to be changed. It was awful; what with it's odd and primary-colored wallpaper, disgusting linoleum, old appliances and outdated formica....this space needed a lot of work! Within a relatively short period of time, we had taken down the wallpaper, painted the walls red, replaced the formica with a newer, marble-looking version, put in a tile backsplash, and also replaced the sink/faucet. Oh, and Russ also installed a tile floor. While it's not perfect, I'm so proud that he did it on his own. However, if we had to do it all over again, we both agree that we would put in some sort of engineered hardwood, or a hardwood-look that would be safe and compatible for a kitchen area. So, fast forward 6 more years, and here we are...RE-updating the kitchen! :)

(Okay, well not really in this picture, but it's the quickest one I found that showcased the red walls to be changed!)

I've been working on updating our kitchen for the past 6+ months. Earlier this spring, my father-in-law and I began sanding, priming and painting our cabinets. Ohmigoodness, that was a job, and I am forever thankful that he was willing to do this with me. Russ helped me add moulding to the cabinet tops, to give them a more finished look. He also helped transform the space by adding some beadboard on the cabinet endcaps. What a difference! Oh, and before we began on the cabinet transformation, I painted over our dark red walls, and freshened up the space with a light blue-grey. (Color to come. I think it's Sleepy Blue by Sherwin Williams, but need to check!) And by the way, all of these updates were inspired by blogs that I read, like The Nester, 320 Sycamore, and Clarendon Lane. I love the look of their homes...clean, fresh, classic and simple.

After the walls and cabinets were complete, I worked on adding a little bit of decor to the space. I am nowhere near being done with this aspect, and this is where I always seem to stall. I don't quite know how to finish out a room with just the right accents and pops of color...so it's a process. But I did get some DIY curtains up, and added a mirror and small gallery wall to the eat-in area. I loved the way the black frames popped against the light blue, and so after much thought about how to change my kitchen table (and even after taking a survey from facebook friends!), I chose to stain the top of the table in a dark walnut stain, and paint the legs and chairs of the table black. I know that the white/dark stain combination would be beautiful, and it was originally what I had been planning to do, but after seeing how great the black looked in the space, and also after considering how dirty my white chairs might get, I opted to go with the black. Also, it was far and away the winner of my fb survey!

So, currently I have the 4 chairs painted. I hand-sanded them with a sanding block, primed with flat black spray paint, and then did 3 coats of Rustoleom Black Satin spray paint, sanding in between with a very fine sanding "sponge". They feel great, but I still feel that I need to seal them/protect them, so I'm looking for the best option, and hoping to get them completely finished by the end of the week. The table sits un-touched, but it should also be done (fingers crossed!) by the end of the week. I can't wait!!

Ordinary Days

Today was just an ordinary day. Home with Nate and a list of things to do. I couldn't get moving this morning, and Nate and I took a mid-morning nap together. Looking back, it was actually the best part of my day. But when I woke up and realized I wouldn't be able to complete my "list" for the day, I began to feel irritated. I had also anticipated having a few child-free hours today, and it just didn't work out. I was so exasperated over this all day that I failed to make the most of the day that I did have. I hate when I do that. I allowed my unmet expectations to ruin what should have been a perfectly good day. And I let it ruin a perfectly good date night, too. :(

So, what's the lesson here? Look for the blessings. Remember that life is short. Tomorrow is another day and everything on my list can wait until tomorrow. And finally, get over it already! That's what I should have done.

Praying that tomorrow is a better day, and that I can choose a better attitude! Thank you, Lord, for loving me when I'm sometimes so hard to love. You never turn away from me.

Gratitude

It's the month of November, and I'm one of many posting my daily gratitude on facebook. I thought of a few little things I'm thankful for on this day...

I'm thankful that Avery let me put her hair up in a bun. It started off as a side ponytail, which apparently caused her a lot of discomfort, so I decided to sweep it up in a bun. She didn't love it as much as I did, but that's okay. She still wore the hairstyle to school, and she looked absolutely adorable. I couldn't resist taking a ton of pictures of my sweet girl when she got home this afternoon.

I'm thankful that Nate is so very thoughtful. He had a good day at school and was able to choose something out of the treasure box at school. Somehow he lost his treasure between his classroom, and my car and we almost left school without it, but he was so sweet about wanting to go back and get it, that I decided we should. We ran back to his class, and his precious teacher let him pick out a new treat (we couldn't find the lost treasure). He chose a package of Smarties candies and ate almost all of them on the way to pick up Sissy from school. But he saved two of them and he saved them for her. He wanted her to have them. He melts my heart with his kindness, and in between all of his crazy, little boy qualities, he does sweet stuff like this all the time. Everyday he shows to me that he has a thoughtful and generous spirit. I love my little boy so much!

I'm thankful for my health, this gorgeous weather today (high in the 50s!), and breakfast for dinner! I'm thankful for time as a family, eating in the living room because the kitchen chairs are in the garage, all being painted. I'm thankful that Russ doesn't mind (too much) when I want to paint our kitchen table and chairs and lets me do it the way I envision. I'm thankful he watched our little ones the other night so I could play Bunco with some new friends. I'm thankful to my in-laws for watching our little ones tomorrow night so we can have a date night. Yay! I'm thankful that my little ones helped me clean the kitchen tonight. And that they played in the yard together this evening. I'm thankful, happy, blessed, and full.

Thank you, God. Thank you for blessing me daily!

Right Now...

Right now, it's 8:11 a.m. and I'm tired. I'm wearing my pajamas and I'm allowing Nate to play on the computer so I can have a bit of quiet time. (PBSkids, though - so it's all good!) Avery is at school, slightly anxious about the upcoming fire drill that she knows will happen now that it's a new month. I've reassured her, and I hope she'll have a good day.

Tired. My plan at getting the little ones to stay in the bed together doesn't seem to be working yet. I'm not giving up. I woke up this morning with one kiddo *right* next to me on each side. I was hot, uncomfortable, and my back was/still is aching. Russ had moved on to a different bed. I would do that, too. But the kids look for me. I'm a bedtime magnet. I told them that I really need them to stay in their bed. I need sleep so I can be a better Mommy, and I need to have fewer people in my bed so that I can sleep comfortably. I don't want to make them feel bad for creeping into bed with me. I just want them to stay in their own bed. Or at least wake me up, so that I can help them back to their own bed. Eventually, we will get there. I mean, they will not be in their teens and still climbing into bed with me...surely not...?

A strong cold front is coming in tonight. Can't wait. With each cold front, my spirits rise. I love the cooler weather....everything feels lighter and calmer when it's cool. Anyone else feel that way?

15 minutes

Just a few days ago, I was reading one of my favorite blogs about motherhood and family, 71 Toes. If you are one of the 3 people who might read my blog, you should definitely check out her's. Shawni (the author of said blog) writes beautiful posts daily about her family of 7. She has 5 sweet children and how she makes time to write, edit photos and blog every day is beyond me. She recently decided that she was going to limit herself to just 15 minutes daily for blog-writing, and it inspired me to at least try and do the same. 15 minutes for me to devote to writing about what's happening in my little family's life. 15 minutes is so much more than nothing!!

So, here goes! Halloween was last night, and we celebrated in our traditional manner. The kids got ready and we made the quick drive to my in-law's home. Avery and Nate love seeing them, and were happy to show off their costumes (Little Women's Amy and Spongebob). After a few minutes of chaos and visiting, we began our Trick-or-Treating trek. What to remember about last night: the kids wanted to run everywhere, but after numerous warnings, they finally began to listen. At every door, Aves would say, "Trick or Treat, smell my feet!" Thankfully, she knew better than to add the last part! They both said "thank you" after every treat was dispensed, and they wanted to go for longer than we have in the past. We returned to Nanny & Granddad's, and they "helped" to give out candy. By the time we returned home, they were exhausted. After a quick shower and bath, they were both out like a light.

For the past few nights, Avery and Nate have both been sleeping in Nate's bed. I decided to try this, because they both like to snuggle with someone and it seems to help them sleep better if they can be attached to a warm body. I was hoping that maybe they could attach to each other, rather than me?!? :) So, we're trying it and the first 3 nights went exceptionally well. In fact, yesterday morning I had to wake them up. I can count on one hand the number of times that has happened. Seriously. (Seriously.) I was giddy with dreams of being able to sleep all night long, every night, uninterrupted. Last night, though, Nate burst my bubble, because he woke up multiple times and would not stay in his bed. So, he was back in our bed, and Aves woke up at her extremely early time....somewhere between 5-6 this morning, I think. Oh well. I'm not giving up. They seem to like sleeping together; Avery has said that she feels safer with Nate, and so we will keep trying for that elusive "good night" of sleep for all of us. Wish me luck!